You can't create self-control for your child!Another article came out this morning saying something to the effect that “yelling is being called the ‘new spanking.’â€I think people label yelling as the “new spanking†because they believe or have experienced that yelling is the only way their child will listen.That’s what I want to rant talk about.
When it comes to yelling, parents fall into one of two camps. There’s the “I yell for everything†camp. And there’s the “I refuse to yell; we do feelings†camp.
I believe one aspect of each camp is valuable, and I think you’d be surprised why I say that.
When it comes to the “I yell for everything†camp, the one thing I see as valuable is that the boundary is very clear.
And, when it comes to “I refuse to yell; we do feelings†camp…well, everything begins and ends with feelings.
Of course, my statement needs more of an explanation than I am providing here, but you get the idea.
As it turns out, there is a shared problem both camps have, too.
Both camps are struggling to find ways to turn behavior into learning moments.
Unfortunately, neither “camp†creates a learning moment that teaches kids to dig deep to find the resources needed to change situations and grow.
That means there are no foundational life skills for the child to build upon as life gets more complicated.
Let me assure you;
• it’s more than possible to remain connected, mindful, yet clear and firm as you parent, and do it all
without harming your child’s spirit.
• it is more than possible to empathetically hold your child accountable, set limits, and discuss the misbehavior and feelings about the situation, so your child learns.
• it is more than possible to connect at a feeling level, so your child trusts you and is willing to risk doing what (s)he doesn’t want to do.
• You can’t create self-control for your child. You can only create situations that cause a child to find their self-control muscles.
🎯 You know you didn’t come this far in your parenting journey to only come this far.
🎯 You’re at a point in your parenting where you can actually feel the need for change.
🎯 You intuitively know, deep in your heart, that right beside the enormous love you have for your child is the awareness that the parenting you have been using is not how you hoped to parent.
🎯 You are more than ready to create an emotionally conscious foundation for your child(ren) and teach them the skills needed to process the learning moments in life.
Join us for The Motherhood Lab if you’re ready to learn the “actionable secrets†that will transform your child’s behavior and your mothering experience.
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