Mom and Daughter arguing on a park bench

 

“Presence includes support and structure — with that, children thrive; without that, children experience chaos, and parenting can be a nightmare.”
Harville Hendrix

One Way Stress is Created in Your Child

We all have this parenting thing down, right? I can hear you laughing from here.

Yes, you’re mindful and aware.

You love and adore your child, and try and connect as often as you can, right?
Yet, there are times…oh those times, when you yell.  
And there are times when you argue and negotiate.
Well, guess what, they all have one thing in common. 

They are all “power stalemates.” 

You are an individual. Your child is an individual. 
When two individuals, regardless of how much they love each other have opposing points of view, when they want different things, they use their resources to try and get them.
Here’s the rub—you’re an adult. 
You understand authority, compassion, and the consequences of your actions.
Your child—is a child. 
Your child has no choice but to use his/her age appropriate immature reasoning to understand their world. This is not a preschool issue. School-age, tweens and teens are still using immature reasoning. They are operating from the emotional side of their brain, because access to the logical side of the brain is still being created. 
That means your child uses unrefined and untested skills. 
Your child hasn’t been alive long enough to have the total benefit of hindsight, or the wisdom that comes from learning from the consequences of your actions. Not completely, not yet. That means they argue, fight, negotiate and make demands to try and get what they want. 
 
When both parent and child have opposing points of view, you find yourselves at a cross roads, a power stalemate.
And when power is at stake, arguing, negotiating and ultimately yelling is used by you both to achieve your goal. 
It doesn’t have to be that way, and you don’t need to forgo your parental authority either. 

As I said yesterday, you can express “stop it” while informing your child of “what to do instead.”

I know you’re dealing with endless demands from your kids, and the resulting emotional exhaustion. 
I know there are times when you feel like you’re being taken for granted by all you do for everyone else. 
Those feelings can get in the way of expressing your corrections the way you want to. 
Those feelings can even cloud the love you feel for your child.
Those feeling can cause you to yell. 
Your life doesn’t have to be that way. It’s time to make a change. 
But you have to take action in order to make a change. 
And before you can take action, you need information, new skills and a plan. 

Tomorrow’s webinar, Why Do I Yell and What Can I do Instead? at 11am, PST will begin that process. This 6o-minute webinar is packed with resources you can use immediately, plus you’ll hear about resources that will help carry you through all the ages and stages you’ll be parenting from now on. 

This webinar will share how to:
  • recognize the triggers that have risen from other experiences in your life and are causing your yelling today. 
  • shift any resentful, angry feelings that are affecting you and your parenting.
  • locate your unique hidden message, the one that’s affecting your parenting, and impacting the child(ren) you adore.
  • create results instead of resistance by implementing new ways to understand and express “stop it” while imparting here’s “what I want you to do instead.” 
  • And you’ll learn how to do it with a calm parental authority that sends the message she means business. 
Join us for this effective and transformational webinar, and make sure to attend LIVE, so you can ask me your questions at the end.
Want to read more? Go to proactive parenting dot NET and click free webinar on the nav. bar. 
Ready to register? Click here. 
See You at The Webinar.
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