Every parent has questions about whether to work with the Tooth Fairy or not.
And they want to know what happens when their child figures out they’ve been lying to them. What then?
Make-believe is important to littles; it helps them integrate information and knowledge above their understanding.
Littles see everything as real, and that’s as it should be. But, that creates a concern too.
Parents want to know, should I honor my child’s developmental needs or my need not to lie?
How do I navigate a conversation like that?
What can I say to soften the blow when I’m caught “lying”?
Should I give them money for the tooth?
Those are all valid concerns, and I have a few alternatives.
Unfortunately, these days, kids mistakenly think that their value and self-worth are determined by money and the things money can buy—for example, the story in the Tooth Fairy video on FB @proactiveparentingtip.
Continued thinking like that will have long-lasting implications that will have to be unraveled in adulthood.
These days, the shift in society is to become more mindful and aware and to realize that *things* are not as important as *people*.
Of course, you want that awareness to be integrated into your parenting.
As a result, I believe it’s time to shift how we handle the tooth fairy.
The new goal is to have kids become students of *life*, not students of *things* by telling a new tale that uses make-believe and you.
The idea is to create a story that involves you, so you don’t have to lie; a story that does not exchange money for their tooth.
Here’s my example.
Take your child outside to show them the stars. And say,
“Sweetie, did you know that millions of kids, just like you lost their tooth today? Look in the sky to see how many a million is. Since the tooth fairy can’t make it to everyone’s house in one night, she asked mom and dad to deliver this envelope to you. Shall we open it? (Create a sweetly decorated envelope with a gift certificate for time spent with you instead of money.) Wow, look at this. It’s a gift certificate for 1 hour of special time with either mom or dad; you get to choose who and decide what kind of fun you want to do, too. How special!
This small change shifts the focus away from money to connecting with you, and you can’t get better than that! Plus, when they learn that the tooth fairy isn’t real, you haven’t lied; you were and always have been a special helper for the Tooth fairy and Santa.
By the way, the day after Thanksgiving, my Santa article comes out and has a GREAT way of talking about Santa. I just wanted to clear that up.
#toothfairy #connected #parenting #makebelieve
