This week has been hard for me. No real problems, lots of growth, some pain, but no “real” problems. As I spoke to others, I realized this week has been hard for many of you as well.
We are a community. Small as we may be, those who read what comes from Proactive Parenting, we are a community. We have shared experiences, even though we do not “know” each other. In truth, we do know each other, without really knowing each other. How is that possible? We parent.
We are entrusted with the most precious resource there is on this planet, the heart. Love. Pure. Simple. Complex. Love. We feel it, because we parent.
Love is our mission. Love is our goal. We, each and every one of us, long to feel connected and love allows us to do that. The moment that tiny baby was placed in your arms your heart expanded in a way you didn’t even know was possible. Sleep deprived, angry, resentful, defeated, depleted, regardless of how old your child is, you rely on, and are invigorated by, that invisible thing that courses through all of us, love. We parent.
The love we feel for one another is complicated by all the other emotions. It is complicated by anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, sadness, guilt, lack of self worth, and shame. The love we feel is complicated by the responsibility of being “in charge” of another person. The love we feel is complicated by the stress in our lives, the pain in our bodies, the loss of dreams, and of dreams realized. We parent.
I know I spend a great deal of time speaking about anger, yelling, reacting and the like. But what you may, or may not have realized, is I do this because I want the heart to rise, for love to surface, and for anger to diminish and stop hurting people. I do what I do because I want the realization that we are all connected to be something more than just a catch phrase. I want the truth of what it really means to be connected to be embraced by everyone, so it can inform us, and guide us through each and every day. I want the purity of the love we feel for our children to extend to everyone else in our family, our extended family, and to those across the world. I want this world to realize, and remember that we are one, because we parent.
Am I a silly woman dreaming an impossible dream? No, I’m not. Check out what your heart feels at this moment? If I have done my job correctly, you feel a spark of love. You feel a shred of hope, and you feel those things despite whatever else is going on in your life. That’s the power of love. It trumps anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, sadness, guilt, lack of self worth, and shame.
We need to teach our children that our love is bigger than their misbehavior. We need to teach our children that our love understands that they’re learning, and is in every action we take to correct them. We need to teach our children that our love will never hurt them.
I will, of course, return to talking about all the barriers we face as we parent next week. But this week, all I can muster is a tiny plea that you focus and feel love.
Go hug your kids, and I hope you have everything you need to make it through whatever is going on in your lives.