A fight between siblings can sound like the crusades have begun in the backroom! When a fight breaks out parents either get involved, quickly, or yell, “Work-it-out-right-now-you-two!”
Whether pregnant, or simply considering having another child, parents usually have visions of two sweet ones playing together, sharing effortlessly, hugging and kissing each other, and relying on each other for a lifetime. Few parents have visions of two kids slamming doors and screaming, “I hate you!” or “that’s mine” or pushing a sibling over as they cry, “my m-o-m-m-y” at the top of their lungs.
Truth be told, few parents know how to help their children navigate the jealousy, lack of sharing, mean spiritedness and ignoring that can go on 24/7.
Siblings are individuals first, and siblings second. They need to be able to express their individual points of view in order to calm down, understand and resolve a sibling disagreement.
I don’t have to tell you that doing that is not as easy as it sounds! That’s why I suggest this three-step process.
Step one: Understand and acknowledge that the sibling relationship is a work in progress. There is no “one” specific thing a parent can do to ensure that siblings will get along f-o-r-e-v-e-r. With each growth spurt and developmental change the sibling relationship changes. How they react to each other changes, how they feel about their relationship to you changes, and how they feel about sharing and their possessions changes. That’s a lot of change! Which is why I created step two and three.
Step two: Sibling Rivalry Helps Kids Prepare for Life. This article shares what the bottom line purpose of a sibling relationship is and three ways work with it.
Step Three: Proactive Parenting’s audio seminar#6 Unlocking Sibling Struggles This seminar was created with the permission of a client after her coaching session revealed the perfect sibling dynamic. The scenario illustrates why the children, and parents, behaved the way they did, and the solutions needed to resolve the issue. Even though the age ranges says 2-5, the description of the dynamic and resolution technique can be adjusted to work with siblings of any age. AND if you act today thru September 4th, you can get 50% off during our Annual Back-to-School Sale.
No parent wants their kids to be life-long frenemies. Parents need to be the subtle presence that orchestrates a resolution without controlling it. We can help you get started today!