Siblings; personality conflict or rivalry?
The sibling relationship is a complex one. Were you close to your sibling(s) as kids? Are you close now?
Were there times when you felt like a sibling invaded your space? Took your things? Offended you? Has your sibling relationship impacted you as an adult?
Every parent wants things to be better for their children than it was for them.
Childhood happens in a blink of an eye. No parent really has the luxury of letting siblings “work it out” all by themselves. Sometimes you need to help them learn. Letting them “work it out” can potentially damage their precious relationship for years to come. I say handle sibling issues in a different way. Do it in a way that lets them work it out, and teaches them at the same time. And that’s what today’s email is about.
Beth is 10 and Kelly is 8. Kelly is home sick.
Kelly “borrowed” Beth’s iPod while Beth was at school. Kelly hide in the bathroom to use it and accidently dropped it in the toilet. It’s destroyed, and now Kelly is hysterical. Mom’s spidey sense began tugging at her, so she went upstairs to see what Kelly was doing. Mom found Kelly sitting on the bathroom floor crying, holding a wet iPod.
We all know how this goes from here…or do we?
There are two ways this might play out.
One way uses yelling and punishing, which can potentially create frustration, anger, and very little learning. The other way uses a 5-step-learning-sequence to create true learning and make amends that actually repair broken trust.
Which one appeals to you?
The sibling relationship is unlike any other relationship.
Siblings teach each other things parents can’t. They teach each other what it feels like to be in a relationship. They teach each other about respect, and how to be kind to someone you love despite the fact that you were angry with them five minutes ago. Siblings teach each other about personal boundaries, and how to tame the wild-green-eyed-monster-jealousy.
Siblings can also teach each other about hatred, resentment, competition, comparison, how to demean one another, and much more. The key to teaching siblings what you want them to learn lies in the way a parent structures the resolution of disagreements.
Motivating Listening and Cooperation, one of three seminars in The Authentic Parent Series, uses the Kelly/Beth story to show you which words to use so your child understands that their actions impact others. A life skill all parents want their kids to have. The story reveals a detailed conversation to have before enforcing the rules and boundaries so listening and cooperation occurs, instead of resentment and rebellion. This story shows parents how to create a specific type of apology so the trust that was broken is truly repaired. This story also reveals how to create a process of repayment, even when a child has no money. All of this creates life-long learning that applies now, and in the future.
Kids need you.
They need you to love them, and they need you to make them feel safe. The best way to make a child feel safe is to create and enforce boundaries to help them get back on track when they make a mistake, and learn from that mistake. As strange as it may seem, kids actually relax when you hold them accountable.
How to accomplish all of that can be found in one, or all three, of the seminars in The Authentic Parent Series.
I am committed to changing families.
My goal over the last 30 years has been to inspire as many parents as possible with information so the next generation has the resources and skills needed to be successful in life. I know you want that for your kids too. And I know that financially this is not your top priority, so I’ve lowered the price of The Authentic Parent Series, for the last 4 days of our launch.
The entire series is priced below the cost of purchasing two seminars, it’s now a full 35% off. It’s like buying 1 1/2 seminars and getting 1 1/2 seminars for free.
What are you waiting for?
Unfortunately, things don’t get less complicated as kids grow up. The truth is everyone gets the “emotional fog” when they’re upset, angry or frustrated. You can’t think straight. These seminars outline what to do, and what to say, so you have what you need when you’re affected by the emotional fog.
Don’t miss this opportunity. And yes, I’ll be sending you a reminder each day for the next 3 days. If you want the details of what’s actually in these seminars, click here to read the updated sneak peak.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Now go hug your kids and really think about this. You won’t be sorry.