Stop getting pulled into power struggles—it is possible! One way to stop a power struggle is to use a Power-Struggle-Stopper. No, it’s not a product or a new form of discipline. It’s a way to use your words to re-focus your child and stop a power struggle from going any further.

Just like most emotional interactions power struggles have a beginning, middle and end to them. Where you enter a power struggle determines whether it goes any further.

Do you react out of the gate? Do you wait to get engaged when the arguing, whining, begging and negotiation begins to make your blood boil?

Or do you only realize you’re engaged in a power struggle because you and your child have begun screaming at each other?

A Power-Struggle-Stopper is meant to stop the escalation of a power struggle from going any further.

It redirects your child’s focus and helps calm his/her emotions. I am not referring to the “look over here” type of redirecting. I’m referring to redirecting your child to do one simple act before your willing to talk to him or her.

Here’s an example of what TO DO: When your child is trying to pull you into a power struggle, either by yelling, being emotional or demanding, you simple repeat, “Sit down, please.”  That’s all you say. You say it over and over again. You repeat it as many times as needed until your child sits down.

This process stops you from jumping into a power struggle. It sends a silent message to your child that will not participate in the yelling etc. It shows her nothing will be happening until she sits down, takes a breath and calms down a little bit.

Here’s an example of what NOT to do:  Do not use a Power-Struggle-Stopper to repeated insist that your child stop the crying, whining or begging or do a chore he is rebelling against doing. If you do use a Power-Struggle-Stopper that way you are literally pushing your child into not listening to you.

If you liked this tip, take a look at all of our series and book for real-life details.