There’s no time for me! True.
This is another top complaint moms have.
Did you read The Struggle is Real—Part 1 yet? It’s the article before this on the main page of the blog. It’s short, and it has a free app. suggestion you need to be aware of before reading Part 2.
I’ll wait here while you read it… La-de-Do, La-de-Da.
Oh, good, you’re back!
Yesterday I said, “as it turns out, where you place your focus is a large part of your struggle.” I also said, “your resentment is what’s actually stealing your emotional energy—not having to wash the dishes.”
When you focus on all the things you have to accomplish each day or ruminate about how much doing these things pisses you off.
If you internally rage about the fact that no one else helps, or you wonder how your life got to be the way it is—you’re not focused on the now; you’re catastrophizing.
Catastrophizing is when someone “…blows things out of proportion believing irrational thoughts about themselves or others.” (Professor Google)
When you’re catastrophizing about the past or fearing the future, you’re scattering your focus in every direction but the now.
What it sounds like
Past thinking sounds like, “I had a lousy childhood, so how am I supposed to parent well?”
Future thinking makes you wonder, “Will it always be this hard cause I’m not sure I can do this?”
All of that leaves you feeling defeated and powerless in the now, stopping you from being present.
Then your child, who lives in the now, marches in and demands your time and energy.
This interrupts the focusing you’re doing on your resentment or exhaustion, overwhelm, or whatever you’re thinking, forcing you to pay attention immediately.
Being forced to change your focus quickly causes you to bark, snap, snark, or dump your scattered focus onto whatever situation your child has just brought you.
And to make matters worse, because you love that sweet face more than life itself, you sprinkle yourself with guilt for having released your resentment, frustration, or anger onto your child or the situation.
You are not alone; we’ve all been there, including me.
Here’s the good news
When you use the app I suggested, or anything like it, including a simple to-do list, you accomplish a ton more, and you aren’t resentful, frustrated, or angry since you don’t have to make a bunch of decisions all day long because you’ve already scheduled what to do each day. In addition, since each task takes 5 minutes, you end up with free time, which feels like a win; plus, the dopamine hit of accomplishment is great too.
Extra time begins healing you
Being proactive gives you extra time to spend with your kids, which immediately changes their behavior. And gives you the time and emotional energy to invest in yourself and your family or shift your child’s behavior.
Is this a holiday miracle?
Nope, it’s practical, possible, and has the potential to change your world.
And when you’re ready to change your world and your family dynamic, you know where to find the tools and support that will change how you connect and correct with your kids, here at Proactive Parenting.net
Now, go hug your kids.
p.s. Big Changes coming so now is the time to make your purchases before prices go up for 2023.