Using the long view in parenting allows you to see each situation, and each bit of misbehavior, as an opportunity to teach a skill instead of simply being yelled at for doing something wrong.

Step back from the situation and ask yourself, “What skill is my child missing that would cause her to do this? Then instead of yelling or punishing, use instructional discipline. Ex: Sister took the markers away from brother. Instead of having sister go say “sorry,” which children see as a quick way to get this problem over with, ask her how she can make brother feel better and how she’s going to fix this. This teaches her to have empathy for another person’s pain and teaches responsibility; when you make a mess, you fix a mess. If you want detailed solutions, take a look at all of our series and book for the real-life details.