Parental Focus and Yelling
The relationship you have with your child is one of the most significant relationships you’ll ever have in life.
Your influence, your words, your actions and your love play an enormous role in your child’s life. So, let me ask you this …
Where do you place your focus/attention when correcting your child?
Really think about that question.
Are you focused on the “stop it” part?
Or are you focused on the “what I want you to do instead” part?
Where you place your focus determines whether your child hears you, and begins to self-correct, or whether they pull inward, a little bit, in order to protect themselves from what they consider the onslaught of your intensity.
That’s a pretty big statement I just made. It’s very “real.”And I know, nobody really wants to talk about the “real” stuff.
The problem is, your child needs you to talk about the “real” stuff.
Your child needs you to make some changes so they can feel emotionally safe enough to hear you.
That’s where this parenting thing gets confusing.
Most parents think if you focus on the “stop it” part that you’re doing your job.
And if doing your job involves yelling and punishing, so be it, as long the child “stops it!”
Most parents also think that if you focus on the “what to do instead” part you’re being permissive, ineffective, and not doing your job. And that’s just not true.
You can be calm and firm at the same time.
You can teach and correct behavior at the same time.
You can create the “stop it” part while informing your child of “what to do instead.”
I told you it can be confusing, and I have good news.
The information that will make it less confusing will be presented in my free webinar this Thursday, October 5th 11 am PST called, Why Do I Yell and What Can I Do Instead?
You will learn 3 ways to effectively communicate “stop it” to your child, while you calmly teach her “what to do instead.” Who doesn’t want that?
I will also share how to uncover the unconscious emotional triggers causing you to yell, and what to do once you’ve found them.
Like I said, no one wants to talk about the “real” stuff.
But you have to face the “real” stuff head on, in order to change it.
Here’s a secret everybody needs to know—
once you look at the “real stuff”, it’s not so difficult to deal with it.
It’s the hiding from the “real stuff” that causes the pain and discomfort.
You need to look at your emotional triggers so you can show your child how to learn from what triggers his/her behavior. That’s how real change occurs.
Yelling and punishing won’t teach your child how to manage their feelings, or how to find their calm spot so they can listen, cooperate and be respectful.
This webinar will show you how to increase listening and cooperation in 1 minute or less.
One dad recently said, “This tip is gold, one of the best tips I’ve ever heard!”
The method the dad is talking about breaks through the “I’m not listening barrier” and motivates your child to think, listen, and cooperate, and there’s no yelling involved. The skills I’m sharing work for kids ages 3-18.
This FREE webinar will also address:
• 1 thing all parents have in common that causes them to cycle back to yelling
again, and again.
• 3 decisions kids make that can impact future behavior, and cause more yelling.
• 3 new ways to correct behavior that inspire listening, thinking and
cooperation, stops an attitude and/or disrespect, and creates respectful
apologies, by teaching your how to take responsibility for his/her actions.
You want to do this webinar LIVE, so you can ask me any question you have at the end.
Simply look up on the nav. bar and find “Free Webinar” to read all about this, including how to register.
Ready to register now? Click here!
Join us for Why Do I Yell and What Can I Do Instead? this Thursday, October 5th at 11am PST.
See you at the webinar.
Now go hug your kids.
Sharon