Think about your home as a scientific laboratory for your child.
Your home is where your child feels the safest. They feel safe enough to use challenging behavior, and they feel safe enough to misbehave so they can learn.
Instead of deciding that the way your child behaves at home is who they are, and always will be, look outside your home. Look at how your child behaves when you’re not around. Ask teachers, friends and family for reports on how your child behaves when (s)he is with them.
Why, because when children are in the presence of others is when you see them apply what they’ve learned at home. Remember, your home is the place where your child’s unconscious feels safe enough to learn how to behave from the expiereince of what they learn when they misbehave.
When you can fully accept that, you automatically understand what your job as a parent truely is—it’s being a calm, supportive teacher. And you will more easily can go from reacting to responding!