Being told you’re a masterpiece, and a work in progress, sends a powerful message to your kids.
When was the last time you made a concerted effort to fill your child’s emotional gas tank?
I’m not talking about a passing hug, kiss, or an attaboy. I’m talking about essentially connecting.
We’re all so busy that sometimes parenting becomes a litany of commands and corrections without the connection.
An essential connection answers the 3 big questions every child’s psyche needs to know, am I loved, am I safe, and am I being seen for who I truly am?
BE BOLD this weekend and create an essential connection between you and your child.
Focus on the good stuff.
Talk to your child about the progress they’ve made in sports, on homework, with kindness, or with whatever you’ve been working on. AND don’t forget the specific praise.
Specific praise is a form of praise that includes how to repeat whatever steps they took that led to their success. An example would be, “I saw your math test. You went from a D to B, you must be proud. I also noticed that you did your multiplication tables 2 times a day to prepare for the test, do you think that helped?”
Mom doesn’t come right out and say, “See, you get good grades when you do your homework!” Mom makes her observation, including the steps that led to her child’s success, and asks what she thinks made a difference?
There are a lot of ways to create essential connections.
My father was a workaholic.
So, when he had to go into the office on a Saturday, he’d take me with him. We stop for a “coffee” and a treat, then head to the office.
Our conversations meant the world to me. He treated me as more of a grown-up than I was. Those were the moments when I learned how my dad saw me, and heard what he wished for my future; I felt truly heard and loved.
Try this challenge out this weekend. And let us know how things worked out on Monday!
Have a good weekend.
Now, Go Hug Your Kids.