I’m not a person who likes the dentist. No, really, I-don’t-like-the-dentist! So when I noticed that it was time to have my teeth cleaned, I began to think, no thanks, I think I’ll wait. And wait I did. And I waited, and waited, and waited. Then I began to fear that it was too late. I feared that maybe I had done so much damage to my teeth that I wouldn’t be able to fix the damage. So I waited some more. Not a good choice.
Yes, the amount of time it took to clean my teeth could have been reduced by half if I had stop focusing on the embarrassment and shame, and simply made the choice to face reality. I just got back from the dentist, and all is well.
Then I saw this article on HuffPo, “It’s Not Too Late to Stop Yelling at Your Kids.” http://huff.to/1q5Q18I. After reading it I began to wonder if parents believed that once you’re a yeller, you’re always a yeller, that some things just can’t be changed.
That’s a lie! And I’m here to tell you—I am a reformed yeller! My story is at http://proactiveparenting.net/sharon-silver.
Yelling was one of things that drove me to find new parenting methods. I was so happy about the new methods I learned that I wanted my career to be about sharing these ideas with others. 25 years later, and I’m still talking about parenting!
Here’s the truth about yelling. It’s insidious; it slowly erodes a relationship bit by bit, just like the plaque I feared was eroding my teeth. However, the damage done by yelling can be repaired. You can change the way you discipline your child and you can repair the gaps in your relationship too. All you have to do is make the choice to change, it’s never too late!
The writer of the HuffPo article adds this quote at the end, “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. Carl Brand What a beautiful way to look at change. And it applies to any relationship in your life.
My kids were tiny when I stopped yelling. My kids know that the yelling that was done when they were teens was a result of many things. There was a death in the family, two potentially deadly illnesses of loved ones, a cross-country move, their decisions regarding behavior, and my having no more energy left to deal with any of it.
We’ve repaired the damage done by that time in our lives. Our family needed a lesson to remind us to focus on the connection between us, versus holding on to feelings of anger or resentment. No one is immune from learning lessons about feelings and relationships. No one.
Is there someone you need to start over with?
Can you forgive someone who yelled at you?
Do you need to stop yelling? If you think you don’t need to stop yelling, what do you envision your future relationship with your kids will be like?
Hard words, I know, but the truth nonetheless.
I learned my lesson today; my relationship with my teeth is an important one. And one I will never ignore them again.
What changes will you make today?
How do you change? I have something that might help. No parent has time to read a book about theory. But every parent has time to read two pages about a topic and a sample conversation to show you how to change the words so your child listens. All parents can flip to a subject and read a Quick Tip at the bottom of the topic, even in the middle of an argument! That’s what Stop Reacting and Start Responding, my book, has for you.
My favorite testimonial is: “I keep it beside my bed so I am never without it!” Read what others say about it and get your copy TODAY @ www.proactiveparenting.net