There are some misunderstandings out there about how parents should act when being mindful.
Being mindful does-not-mean you need to fluff and fold yourself into someone you aren’t.
• Being mindful does-not-mean you drop everything to tend to the kids.
You know the difference between a blast of frustration, and a blood curdling scream.
Wild horses couldn’t stop you from responding to your child’s blood-curdling scream.
However, reacting to your child’s blast of frustration 15 million times a day, because you think that’s what makes you mindful, will only cause anger and resentment. Am I right?
Regardless of age, kids have big emotions that use age-appropriate-I’m-just-learning-about-myself types of expression.
Being mindful means you accept that fact and teach appropriately, without trying to control your child’s emotions out of existence.
• Being mindful does-not-mean changing the cadence of your voice, or your temperament.
Just because Kate Middleton and Prince William get down on one knee to address their children, does-not-mean you have to do that too.
Bending down is supportive, mindful, and natural. Teachers and educators have been doing that for years. Remember, Princess Diana was a nursery school teacher and the royals mum, so for them, bending down is natural.
For those of us who are not raising the future King of England, if you rush in after every squawk or frustrated outburst, you’re not only sacrificing what you’re doing, you’re also sending your kids some powerful silent messages.
You’re telling them:
• I always rush in when big emotions show up.
No parent wants their kids to learn being upset is a great way to get your
• Emotions are not normal. They’re cause for concern. I rush in so I can stop them.
Unfortunately, that teaches kids to fear emotions, instead of trusting them to be the
wonderful teacher that they are.
Being mindful is loving and calming which allows your intuition to kick in and advise you of what to do next, even in the middle of an emotional storm.
I define mindful as “Embracing what your child needs in the moment, today, and tomorrow, so you can turn behavior into learning moments that will guide them as they grow©.”
Do you have a question about being mindful? If so, leave in the comments.