The time has come the walrus said to speak of many things.
The world is witnessing things that must change. As we experience the need for change, we’re also experiencing feelings. A lot of them. And so are our kids.
The Father’s Day episode of Red Table Talk was an interview with Will Smith, and it was an eye-opener! Big emotions and wounds that he was able to trace to his childhood came out during this interview.
You know I’m all about the impact your parents had on you, the decisions made as a result, how those decisions influence your parenting, and the way your kids see themselves. Will reminds Jada that he was raised by a military father and how that style of parenting taught him what not to do with each of his children.
Highlights: The counter on the video was funky so the times may be a bit off. Rewind a tiny bit if need be. I couldn’t find this video anywhere so I could link it here.
To view the entire Red Table Talk go to, FB or https://toofab.com/2020/06/22/will-smith-jada-red-table-talk-fathers-day/
@21:11 Jada and Will each share the instinctual differences between mothering and fathering, and how both are needed at different times and for different reasons.
@22:30 Why it’s important to be a mindful parent. How Will had to change his military style of parenting, without compromising his authority, so he could preserve the relationship he has with each of his three kids.
@26:16 How a dad sees ‘in the moment teaching’ and parenting.
@27:19 How different children digest the same parenting differently depending on who they are.
@30:44 Internal thought process when a child doesn’t want to do what a parent believes she must do to complete what she’s committed to.
@30:49 The aha moment that changed everything.
“I saw how much I was making and forcing and pushing the things that I wanted. And in that moment I was starting to see how it was hurting her. My desire for her was overriding her desire for her. I had an epiphany, ‘How bad will you hate me if I keep forcing my wishes on your life.
@34:32 The moment Will realized that, If I don’t care about how I feel, why would I care about what you feel?
@35:38-36:09 When reality hits us and we realize that our kids are not really ours.
@37:23 How every parent’s story influences their parenting.
@38:31 Will discusses parental partnerships. “Please make room for me and the way I do things. And please make room for my imperfections.”
This interview touches on so many issues that cause parents to be confused about how to navigate mindful parenting without compromising authority.
Have you ever thought about how your parents’ parenting affected you? That’s the key to this thing we call family!
You have to ask yourself, am I parenting the same way my parents parented me, even though I resented them for treating me that way?
Do I have a parenting style? Or do I parent in any way that’s not the way my parents raised me?
Or am I looking for a more balanced way to parent, one that includes connection and love, as well as a mindful authority that teaches and enforces the boundaries that all kids need? Asking yourself these questions can reveal and illuminate a great deal about your reactions and parenting style.
Enjoy. Now, go hug your kids.