The time has come the walrus said to speak of many things.The world is witnessing things that must change. As weÂ experience the need for change, we’re also experiencingÂ feelings. A lot of them. And so are our kids.The Father’s Day episode ofÂ Red Table TalkÂ was an interview with Will Smith, and it was an eye-opener! Big emotions and wounds that he was able to traceÂ to hisÂ childhood came out during this interview. Â You know I’m all about the impact your parents had on you, the decisions made as a result, how those decisionsÂ influenceÂ your parenting, and the way your kids see themselves.Â WillÂ reminds JadaÂ that he was raised by a military father and how that style of parenting taught him what not to do with each of his children.Highlights:The counter on the video was funky so the times may be a bit off. Rewind a tiny bit if need be. I couldn’t find this video anywhere soÂ I could link it here. To view the entire Red Table Talk go to, FB or https://toofab.com/2020/06/22/will-smith-jada-red-table-talk-fathers-day/@21:11
Â Jada and Will each share the instinctual differences between mothering and fathering, and howÂ bothÂ are needed at different times and for different reasons.
@22:30Â Why it’s important to beÂ a mindful parent. How WillÂ had to change his military style of parenting, without compromising his authority, so he could preserve theÂ relationship he has with each of his three kids.
â€¨â€¨@26:16Â How a dad sees ‘in the moment teaching’ and parenting.
@27:19 How different children digest theÂ same parenting differently depending on who they are.
@30:44Â Internal thought process when a child doesn’t want to do what a parent believes she must do to complete what she’s committed to.
â€¨â€¨@30:49 The aha momentÂ that changedÂ everything.
“I saw how much I was making and forcing and pushing the things that I wanted. And in that momentÂ IÂ was starting to see how it was hurting her. My desire for her was overriding her desire for her.Â I had an epiphany, ‘How bad will you hate meÂ if I keep forcing my wishes on your life.
@34:32Â The moment Will realized that, If I don’t care about how I feel, why would I care about what you feel?
@35:38-36:09Â When reality hits us and we realize that our kids are not really ours.
@37:23Â How every parent’sÂ story influences their parenting.
@38:31Â Will discusses parentalÂ partnerships. “Please make room for me and the way I do things. And please make room for myÂ imperfections.”
This interview touches on soÂ many issues that cause parentsÂ to be confused about how to navigate mindful parenting without compromising authority.
Have you ever thought about how your parents’ parenting affected you? That’s the key to this thing we call family!
You have to ask yourself, am I parenting the same way my parents parented me, even though I resented them for treating me that way?
Do I have a parenting style? Or do I parent inÂ any way that’s not the way my parents raised me?
Or am I looking for a more balanced way to parent, one that includes connection and love, as well as a mindful authority that teaches and enforces the boundaries that all kids need?Â Asking yourself these questions can reveal and illuminate a great deal about your reactions and parenting style.
Enjoy. Now, go hug your kids.