A Gift of Sorrow
Have you read Notes From a Dragon Mom in the NY Times yet?
It’s a truly inspiring story about a mom who is losing her child to Tay-Sachs disease. This heartbreaking story shares a tremendous, and truthful gift about life with all who read it.
How does one, whose heart is breaking and bleeding on the floor, find a gift inside of a tragedy? That’s the beauty of what Dragon Mom shares. She says her only saving grace, in this moment, is learning to live in the NOW with her child.
Living in the NOW.
Those words struck me like a thunderbolt and have caused me to focus on nothing else, but that, all week long. Living in the NOW is so important when raising children that I wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone, for one hour, one day, one week remained focused in the NOW?
I can imagine you must be thinking, I’m an idealist and a fool! The pace of life won’t let me to live in the NOW! I have to be at work, I have to leave the house on time!
I know you do, so do I. So how would living in the NOW work?
Living in the NOW is a state of mind. Shifting from living in what’s about to happen to living in the NOW may not change the pace of your life, but it will change how you feel about the pace of your life, thus transforming how you feel inside.
Living in the NOW is the magic key of life that takes you from rushed and harried to calm and more peaceful.
Take a walk down memory lane with me for a moment.
Do you remember the moment your child was placed in your arms for the first time? When everything in life seemed suspended and there was no time. That moment seemed to go on forever?
Do you remember how you wanted to hold on to that moment and never let go?
Do you remember the peace and calm you felt deep inside of you?
Do you remember the love? That’s living in the NOW.
Children live in the NOW all day long. That’s why when we rush them; they don’t want to cooperate.
That’s why when they see a bird and begin chasing it, and then you say, “We have to go right now” they fall apart.
They’re devastated that they have to stop chasing the bird. They can’t imagine that the bird will ever come back, because they only see that the bird is here—right now.
Children only experience the right-here and right-now. They tend to fall to pieces when they have to stop doing what’s consuming them in the NOW.
As the photo that accompanies this article says, “When you’re rushing to the next moment, what happens to the moment you are in?” You’ve missed it! You may be okay with that, but children have no capacity to understand why they can’t enjoy the NOW.
Living in the NOW is where the treasures of life live.
Living in the NOW is where all the answers to our problems are.
The moment we begin to rationalize and feel like we “should” do something, we fall out of the NOW. That’s when things get complicated, rushed, filled with stress, pressure and anger.
The most profound and beautiful thing we experience by living in the NOW…is love. The more you can take it one-moment-at-a-time and simply focus on the task at hand, by remaining really-really present, the more you love you’ll be able to take in.
The Dragon Mom, this sweet mother and her blessed child have blessed us all with her words and reminded us that nothing is forever. She reminds us that every moment is precious, and every moment, no matter what we’re doing should have our full focus. May we all learn from her and learn to take a moment, as often as we can, to live in the NOW.
Sharon Silver is the author of Stop Reacting and Start Responding and The Authentic Parent Series. Go to proactiveparenting.net to download two free chapters from her book and learn about other Proactive Parenting programs. Find Sharon on Twitter and Facebook.